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Pretending to be Employed

Ever since I have been laid off, my Fiance and I have been pretending that I am “employed.” I still use my cc for the food, gas and other payments as well as shop for clothes for interviews. I see the money going down in my account and I can’t help but notice secretly, none is coming in.

I have now three interviews this Friday and two on Monday of next week. I know those are a lot of interviews but it is still hard not knowing what will happen. In order not to shake my confidence of getting another job, my Fiance has taken to saying nothing about being laid off, but instead saying, “You will get one, soon. I am sure of it.” I hate the word “soon” it is such an indefinite word. When is soon? Maybe I am impatient but idea of living homeless is something that gives a person no patience. I am thinking of even going back to square one sales positions or to being a secretary- maybe I will apply to those tomorrow.

Either way, I know that actually pretending I am employed does help a little. It boosts my confidence that I will get one- well, most of the time. I am sure without acting like this I would be on a first name bases with the bartender at Los Cabos Cantina right now. I know I need to keep my spirits up and I try to every day. However, every day I don’t have a job, it weighs on me. I don’t know how people deal with the stress of being unemployed. For me it has been 4 business days and I am a wreck. My neck is stiff, I can’t sleep- this is why the U.S. should give away free chiropractic care and therapy/ life coaches. We all probably would be motivated ten times more that we won’t fail when trying to find a job.

Isn’t it funny how you can be in what you think is a secure, high up position and then poof it is gone- back to square one? I worked hard to get there and I did find other jobs when I could not climb anymore in other companies because I was given too much responsibility without the title. This was the first one I accepted to be my next five years. Silly me.

Well, I can’t cry over spilled milk. Got to keep going, pretending I am employed, that I am secure and that I can get a job. Wish me luck! Also, good luck to all of you out there as well.




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