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It’s Getting Hot in Here… So… Why Haven’t You Called?

I had a burst of interviews my first few weeks applying for jobs. Now, three weeks later, I am still at square one. Last week I applied only for a few jobs because I was moving the entire week- by myself. My Fiance was too busy working (because he refuses to quite his part time jobs until I find one) and studying (he had 3 tests last week and a paper due). The catch was I had to move in all of our stuff into his parent’s disgusting home filled with dust, newspapers and mold everywhere. Needless to say, losing my apartment, job and all of my furniture I was actually fine with, but moving into that house by myself sent me right over the edge. I almost had a nervous breakdown feeling trapped in the situation I was in.

I always knew I could call my Dad and I did at last minute, to ask if he would help us get an apartment. He absolutely agreed we needed our own place because it was one thing to come over every once in a while and clean up after other people, but to live there and do it on a day to day basis- I am unfortunately not that much of a saint. I wish I could be less selfish, but sometimes everything just gets to be too much.

Now that everything is moved in, things are calming down and I am taking on the house as a project, but I need to get out of this house and not be here all day. That is why I am applying and still sitting by my phone, waiting for “the phone call.” You know, the one where you hear angels singing and there is a spotlight bursting upon you as you pick up the phone and your dream job awaits. Well, as fantastic as I made that sound, that is how getting a job now seems to me.

Now that a job wont save me, or at least occupy me all day and I have not spent one day in 6 years not working, I guess I have to find something else to do. I began writing, working on my website, tanning and exercising as well as watching TV. I have not done any of these consistently since I started working 6 years ago.

I am starting to get the feel this is a forced makeup call, telling me “work should not be your life.”  Or maybe work should be my life because I love working, but it should be doing what I love. I am not quite sure yet what I will find on this journey of being laid off, but I hope soon I find my purpose.

As always, good luck to the rest of you!

Best,

Anon.

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